Dealing with Loss - Moonstone Energy

Dealing with Loss

This is the first time that I will publically address such a sensitive topic. This may be triggering but, it is my truth. Moonstone Energy is about stepping into your power and doing the work!

As we approach another fathers day, for some this will be a great time to celebrate the divine masculine in your life by taking them out, spending time with them and so forth. For others, like myself, I'm trying to figure out what that will look like for me. My father was an entertainer by profession yet held many other titles. He was a police officer when I was a kid, a truck driver, the list goes on. He always had a job & chased his dreams but unfortunately, he wasn't always there. I had to face my own shadows when it came to abandonment issues as I was growing up.

If you follow my podcast, there is an episode regarding healing in astrology. I discovered that your Chiron in your chart holds the key to your healing.I also stumbled across my kryptonite and made the effort to make it my strength.So I began doing deep shadow work prior to starting my business. I had to get to a point of understanding my identity and my pain. Unfortunately, the two collided and I couldn't tell where I began and where I ended.

Months leading up to my fathers passing, I had to make a conscious choice to begin communicating with him. By that time, it had been 3 years since I'd allow him into my space due to the absence and lies. I eventually did because I needed to be free. I did it for me but I also gave him peace as well. My father no doubt loved me to no end but I came to the realization that I was the age that he was when he became distant. In that moment, I understood grace. My father, like everyone in this world was a spirit living a human experience. I wake up most days not knowing what I will be wearing or what I will be doing and so did he.

One day, my father and I went for a drive which would be the last day that I would see my daddy in a state where he could function on his own. We had breakfast, he showed me where he lived as a child in Mississippi and some family history. He was my dad and I was his daughter in that moment. I will cherish that day until I meet him again.....then only more pain and tragedy befell myself & my family. 

From horrible hospitals that lack the ability to treat patients properly to janky funeral directors and the list goes on and on! One thing I will say, I, as his daughter,I felt like he deserved so much more in his last days but then again, as many times as I read energy and my cards, I know that some things are beyond our control, even understanding sometimes.

So for all of my tribe that may have lost a father, I want you to know that you are not alone in this process. I struggle most days to do anything. Grief is an overwhelming and powerful energy, just like love. One moment you're functioning then the next you are in bed for majority of the day with tear filled eyes. It can take you under if you let it.

I have been silently working through my grief and I am not alone in this. My ancestors, family and God have been on my side through this entire process. At this moment, I am unsure what I will do for fathers day but I will do my best. I  plan to light my candles for us. I feel like when I cry, my ancestors feel my pain as well. There is still deep healing to be done here. I will continue to show up for myself, you all and my family. I'm taking it one day at a time.

This process is a hard aspect of the human experience and taboo. If you have the capacity to grieve for someone lost, they had a significant impact on your life and the lives of others. Those tears translates into love, thats how I see it. So cry as much as you need to, take your baths and keep going!!!

(If you are in need of an ear, please call or text the FEMA distress helpline 800-985-5990 or speak to a counselor that you trust)

Many blessings and may peace fill your heart💚

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